I can tuck mytits in my pants
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
