you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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