I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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