dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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