So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
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but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
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You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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