suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
