Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
two words: eviction party
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Is Oprah even human
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
