did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize