i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
