Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
