i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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