I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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