but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
