"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
