I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
