i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
