home. puking in laundry basket.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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