We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
