I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
