they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize