Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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