As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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