Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
3pm strippers are depressing
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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