as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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