Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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