The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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