Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
