I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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