He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
