It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
