But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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