He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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