I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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