please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize