So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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