it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
