Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
