We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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