I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
