Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
