You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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