If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Randomize
