I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I have aggressive nipples.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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