i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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