wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
