using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
