Can i not drive my cunt home
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
