You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
