Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
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We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
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I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?