Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(715): View more from Wisconsin

I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(715): I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you http://tfl.nu/l21x

Replies (18) Good night (829) Bad night (2019)
Favorite
(763): View more from Minnesota

I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...

(612): View more from Minnesota

I want my thong back.

(763): View more from Minnesota

I hate you tequila.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(763): I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong... (612): I want my thong back. (763): I hate you tequila. http://tfl.nu/u481

Replies (16) Good night (5007) Bad night (810)
Favorite
(567): View more from Ohio

I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..

(1-567): View more from Ohio

How so?

(567): View more from Ohio

Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(567): I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand.. (1-567): How so? (567): Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours. http://tfl.nu/38h3

Replies (9) Good night (973) Bad night (3993)
Favorite
(541): View more from Oregon

does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(541): does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized http://tfl.nu/g99b

Replies (12) Good night (3785) Bad night (1023)
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar http://tfl.nu/aq1i

Replies (11) Good night (4550) Bad night (1790)
Favorite
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(403): Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice. http://tfl.nu/ol36

Replies (10) Good night (3481) Bad night (1017)
Favorite
(609): View more from New Jersey

we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(609): we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding? http://tfl.nu/9jac

Replies (11) Good night (4730) Bad night (903)
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago. http://tfl.nu/hd48

Replies (8) Good night (1070) Bad night (3257)
Favorite
(609): View more from New Jersey

That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(609): That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night. http://tfl.nu/lop5

Replies (2) Good night (496) Bad night (1056)
Favorite
(928): View more from Arizona

I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(928): I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five http://tfl.nu/12yz

Replies (3) Good night (870) Bad night (356)
Favorite
(770): View more from Georgia

Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(770): Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week. http://tfl.nu/3id8

Replies (1) Good night (810) Bad night (312)
Favorite
(518): View more from New York

No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(518): No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark? http://tfl.nu/5sw5

Replies (2) Good night (325) Bad night (579)
Favorite
(302): View more from Delaware

Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(302): Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird. http://tfl.nu/awda

Replies (1) Good night (659) Bad night (280)
Favorite
(651): View more from Minnesota

Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(651): Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz. http://tfl.nu/u6wd

Replies (6) Good night (1291) Bad night (294)
Favorite
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(215): I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit http://tfl.nu/jw8x

Replies (0) Good night (535) Bad night (466)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: