operation harelip BJ is a go
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
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His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
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I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.