Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?