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• (641): View more from Iowa

  I met the friendliest cop last night

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  You're the end to all my bad dreams.

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Then she called me a home wrecking whore.

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (315): View more from New York

  he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified

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• (227): View more from Maryland

  He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like

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• (925): View more from California

  A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.

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