She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
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just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
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Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.