Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
