Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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