I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I wish I only lived at night.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
