woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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