We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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