Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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