dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize