I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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