Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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