OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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