On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
