the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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